Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
