Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
too bad you live with your parents still
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
