med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
