these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Pooping to opera.
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