woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
