dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
