Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
