she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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