Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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