i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
