I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
