I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
