people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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