Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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