you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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