I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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