Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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