if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
