of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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