She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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