so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
