I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
