I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
