i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So much rum. So many feels.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Randomize
