I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
