Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
