Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
