I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
