some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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