The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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