i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
