Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
