Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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