fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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