the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
