strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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