i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it