Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Two?

(404): View more from Georgia

Two.

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(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf

Replies (260) Good night (4410) Bad night (78996)
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(407): View more from Florida

If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you

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(407): If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you http://tfl.nu/r9im

Replies (21) Good night (1027) Bad night (4431)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...

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(416): I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed... http://tfl.nu/ew3h

Replies (18) Good night (1508) Bad night (4468)
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(904): View more from Florida

naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.

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(904): naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea. http://tfl.nu/s2fg

Replies (9) Good night (2689) Bad night (854)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.

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(613): I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while. http://tfl.nu/jj3x

Replies (5) Good night (2136) Bad night (783)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???

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(402): I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end??? http://tfl.nu/eolj

Replies (4) Good night (1565) Bad night (589)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?

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(651): Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend? http://tfl.nu/kwwo

Replies (5) Good night (1490) Bad night (593)
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(315): View more from New York

Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really

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(315): Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really http://tfl.nu/gifi

Replies (4) Good night (1722) Bad night (620)
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(406): View more from Montana

I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.

(1-406): View more from Montana

You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.

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(406): I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night. (1-406): You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere. http://tfl.nu/7pyy

Replies (2) Good night (951) Bad night (507)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed

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(570): FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed http://tfl.nu/e8xr

Replies (1) Good night (1020) Bad night (439)
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(917): View more from New York City

That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.

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(917): That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies. http://tfl.nu/z8d5

Replies (7) Good night (873) Bad night (329)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors

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(860): You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors http://tfl.nu/ik36

Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (354)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.

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(517): Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win. http://tfl.nu/fots

Replies (2) Good night (695) Bad night (301)
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(573): View more from Missouri

It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?

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(573): It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night? http://tfl.nu/nbyh

Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (625)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS

(845): View more from New York

Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.

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(201): SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS (845): Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings. http://tfl.nu/tkia

Replies (8) Good night (989) Bad night (413)

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