We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend