Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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