Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs http://tfl.nu/pfpw
  Replies (5) Good night (1561) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe. http://tfl.nu/i5qc
  Replies (8) Good night (688) Bad night (1965)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time. http://tfl.nu/9x69
  Replies (14) Good night (1782) Bad night (4210)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone" http://tfl.nu/ni9u
  Replies (16) Good night (1218) Bad night (3593)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students. http://tfl.nu/ij14
  Replies (11) Good night (987) Bad night (3201)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now. http://tfl.nu/o7hb
  Replies (10) Good night (2600) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (456): View more from

  Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (456): Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here http://tfl.nu/rved
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (1807)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool. (1-425): No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes. http://tfl.nu/wqbv
  Replies (2) Good night (2454) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana. http://tfl.nu/zk8n
  Replies (6) Good night (3032) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party http://tfl.nu/6q7p
  Replies (2) Good night (1179) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower. http://tfl.nu/pdu2
  Replies (4) Good night (812) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Its like I've been given a sexual blank check. http://tfl.nu/9gvj
  Replies (0) Good night (683) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment... http://tfl.nu/gd0h
  Replies (6) Good night (1218) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here." http://tfl.nu/qwmx
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon. (503): I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me. http://tfl.nu/sdzr
  Replies (6) Good night (889) Bad night (387)

Randomize