Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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