that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Randomize
