$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize