did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
