I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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