Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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