I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
