So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
