why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
