How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
