im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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