Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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