Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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