I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize