how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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