filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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