If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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