i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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