White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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