Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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