ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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