I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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